COMMANDER 007

Trust No One

2006-02-20T16:43:47Z

<td align="center">You are 62% Conspiracy Nut

<table width="350" height="30" style="background: url(http://img.quizgalaxy.com/conspiracy-bg.jpg);"><td width="224" height="30"></td><td width="126" height="30" style="font-align: left; vertical-align: top;"></td>

You are a conspiracy nut. The government tops your list as the least trustworthy. You are into looking behind what you are given and analyzing propaganda to discover the truth. It's out there.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td></table>

Humor reduced to mathematics...

2006-01-18T21:17:36Z

the Wit

(66% dark, 38% spontaneous, 36% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -

If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 84% on darkness

You scored higher than 30% on spontaneity

You scored higher than 47% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

THE BEST CDS OF 2005!

2005-12-12T15:21:11Z

1. Paul McCartney – Chaos And Creation In The Backyard
2. Dungen – Ta Det Lungt (domestic issue)
3. The Go! Team – Thunder Lightning Strike (domestic issue)
4. Death Cab For Cutie – Plans
5. New Pornographers – Twin Cinema
6. Dr. Dog – Easy Beat
7. Wolf Parade – Apologies To The Queen Mary
8. My Morning Jacket - Z
9. Rogue Wave – Descended Like Vultures
10. The Coral – Invisible Invasion

11. Clem Snide – End Of Love
12. Beck – Guero
13. Nada Surf – The Weight Is A Gift
14. Kaiser Chiefs - Employment
15. Franz Ferdinand – You Could Have It So Much Better With…
16. The Decemberists - Picaresque
17. Sigur Ros - Takk
18. Fruit Bats – Spelled In Bones
19. The Magic Numbers – The Magic Numbers
20. White Stripes – Get Behind Me Satan

21. Bright Eyes – I’m Wide Aware, It’s Morning
22. Weezer – Make Believe
23. Ben Folds – Songs For Silverman
24. Head Of Femur – Hysterical Stars
25. The Books – Lost And Safe
26. Ted Leo – Shake The Sheets
27. Of Montreal – Sunlandic Twins
28. Deerhoof – Runners 4
29. Saturday Looks Good To Me – Every Night
30. The Boy Least Likely To – The Best Party Ever

Best Compilation/Retrospective:

Sloan – A Sides Win: Singles 1992-2005

Top 10 Favorite Bands I Discovered In 2005:

1. Alberfeldy
2. Keane
3. The Go! Team
4. Dr. Dog
5. Tegan & Sara
6. Wolf Parade
7. Kings Of Convenience
8. Kaiser Chiefs
9. Fruit Bats
10. Rilo Kiley

q:

2005-08-02T19:37:14Z

I am 26% White Trash.

The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.

Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

OLD OLD OLD

2005-06-10T14:42:39Z

Your Birthdate: June 4

Being born on the 4th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer.

You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize.

Sincere and honest, you are a serious and hard working individual.

Your feelings are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times.

The number 4 has something of an inhibiting effect on your ability to show and express affections, as feeling are very closely regulated and controlled.

You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details.

There is a good deal of rigidity and stubbornness associated with the number 4.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

BEST OF 2004

2005-01-07T16:21:03Z

I was pleasantly surprised to find that Nuvo Newsweekly printed by top 10 cds of 2004. For anyone who might care, here is the full 20-cd list (without typos).

Best CDs of 2004

1. BRIAN WILSON – Smile
2. GREEN DAY – American Idiot
3. OF MONTREAL – Satanic Panic In The Attic
4. HEAD OF FEMUR – Ringodom Or Proctor
5. DOGS DIE IN HOT CARS – Please Describe Yourself
6. ARCADE FIRE – Funeral
7. ROGUE WAVE – Out of the Shadow
8. WILLIAM SHATNER – Has Been
9. AIR – Talkie Walkie
10. THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS – The Spine
11. A.C. NEWMAN – The Slow Wonder
12. THE DELGADOS – Universal Audio
13. THE FIERY FURNACES – Blueberry Boat / Single Again
14. SAHARA HOTNIGHTS – Kiss & Tell
15. FRANK BLACK – Frank Black Francis
16. FRANZ FERDINAND – Franz Ferdinand
17. THE POLYPHONIC SPREE – Together We’re Heavy
18. THE HIVES – Tyrannosaurus Hives
19. THE LIKE YOUNG – So Serious
20. THE FUTUREHEADS – The Futureheads

Damn advanced technology...

2004-06-04T14:57:37Z

THIS WAY UP
á

sevenzarkseven has fragile contents which may break!

From Go-Quiz.com

news out the wazoo, including THE MADEIRA, SURF ROCK NIGHT & the new 7.ZARK.7 solo album!!!

2004-06-02T16:52:00Z

GELATINOUS PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS SURF ROCK NIGHT!

For many years, Gelatinous Productions has hosted Surf Rock Night events at venues around the Indianapolis area, and 2004 will be no different! Yes, you will once again be able to wet your musical appetite with the reverb-drenched tones of many of the finest surf bands from the U.S. and beyond.

A couple of different events will be held this year, the first of which will take place on SATURDAY, JUNE 5th at ZANIES TOO in Indianapolis. Slated to appear on June 5th will be famed hot-rod surf rockers and Estrus recording artists THE VOLCANOS!!! This legendary band rarely performs live in the Midwest these days, so don't miss this chance to see them! Also returned to Indy on June 5th will be THE TROUBADOURS, a SHADOWS tribute project featuring Ivan Pongracic of the SPACE COSSACKS!!! Rounding out the lineup will be a new band called THE MADEIRA...

ANNOUNCING 'THE MADEIRA'!

THE MADEIRA is a brand new surf music project featuring members of the SPACE COSSACKS, THE TROUBADOURS and DESTINATION: EARTH!

Grounded in the traditional sounds of the surf genre's early 60's heyday, THE MADEIRA combine high energy performances reminiscent of THE ATLANTICS and DICK DALE with exotic melodies and an unusually high level of musicianship.

Visit THE MADEIRA's new temporary website at http://www.surfguitar101.com/TheMadeira/index.html for a brief bio and free mp3 demos!!!

And see THE MADEIRA live for the first time at SURF ROCK NIGHT!!!

*SURF ROCK NIGHT*
SATURDAY, JUNE 5th @ ZANIES TOO
(5914 E. 10th Street, Indianapolis)
THE VOLCANOS, THE MADEIRA & THE TROUBADOURS
9:30 p.m. Over 21.

'7.ZARK.7' ISSUES LONG-THREATENED SOLO RELEASE!

7.Zark.7 of DESTINATION: EARTH! fame has been threatening to release a solo project for many years, and it's finally happened. The new disc, 'Absolute Disintegration Of Available Mass,' is a collection of electronic, techno, ambient and experimental sounds. Though a far cry from the surf-rock mayhem for which he's known (and more similar to his work with 'THE UNEMPLOYED,' whom you may remember from the GELATINOUS PRODUCTIONS 2004 SAMPLER compilation), the dozen tracks collected here are a fascinating listen in their own right. One of the songs, "Toe Tapper," was recently previewed on the IndianapolisMusic.net mp3 compilation for independent artists. According to 7.Zark.7's liner notes, 'Absolute Disintegration Of Available Mass' was "produced and sequenced scientifically to simulate the progression of organic life toward existence of a purely virtual nature..." And it's one heck of a journey, we assure you.

For more information on ordering this limited release, please visit the Gelatinous Productions site at http://gelatinousproductions.i8.com

I guess we all have some skeletons in our musical closet...

2004-05-14T15:34:50Z

Post this list of Blender's 50 Worst Songs of All Time in your journal and mark the songs that you actually like:

1. We Built This City ... Starship
2. Achy Breaky Heart ... Billy Ray Cyrus
**3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight ... Wang Chung
4. Rollin' ... Limp Bizkit
5. Ice Ice Baby ... Vanilla Ice
**6. The Heart of Rock & Roll ... Huey Lewis and the News
7. Don't Worry, Be Happy ... Bobby McFerrin
8. Party All the Time ... Eddie Murphy
9. American Life ... Madonna
10. Ebony and Ivory ... Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
11. Invisible ... Clay Aiken
**12. Kokomo ... The Beach Boys
**13. Illegal Alien ... Genesis
14. From a Distance ... Bette Midler
**15. I'll Be There for You ... The Rembrandts
16. What's Up? ... 4 Non Blondes
17. Pumps and a Bump ... Hammer
**18. You're the Inspiration ... Chicago
19. Broken Wings ... Mr. Mister
20. Dancing on the Ceiling ... Lionel Richie
**21. Two Princes ... Spin Doctors
22. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue The Angry American
23. Sunglasses at Night ... Corey Hart
24. Superman ... Five for Fighting
25. I'll Be Missing You ... Puff Daddy
**26. The End ... The Doors
**27. The Final Countdown ... Europe
28. Your Body Is a Wonderland ... John Mayer
29. Breakfast at Tiffany's ... Deep Blue Something
30. Greatest Love of All ... Whitney Houston
31. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm ... Crash Test Dummies
32. Will 2K ... Will Smith
33. Barbie Girl ... Aqua
34. Longer ... Dan Fogelberg
**35. Shiny Happy People ... R.E.M.
36. Make Em Say Uhh! ... Master P featuring Silkk, Fiend, Mia-X and Mystikal
37. Rico Suave ... Gerardo
38. Cotton Eyed Joe ... Rednex
39. She Bangs ... Ricky Martin
40. I Wanna Sex You Up ... Color Me Badd
**41. We Didn't Start the Fire ... Billy Joel
42. The Sounds of Silence ... Simon and Garfunkel
43. Follow Me ... Uncle Kracker
44. I'll Do Anything for Love ... Meat Loaf
45. Mesmerize ... Ja Rule featuring Ashanti
46. Hangin' Tough ... New Kids on the Block
47. The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You ... Bryan Adams
**48. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da ... The Beatles
49. I'm Too Sexy ... Right Said Fred
50. My Heart Will Go On ... Celine Dion

Michael Jackson, Beware!!!

2004-02-10T14:49:31Z

Your Superhero Persona by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero Name	The Bankruptcy Lawyer
Super Power	X-Ray Vision
Enemy	Michael Jackson
Mode Of Transportation	Unicycle
Weapon	Sporks

Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

I DON'T KNOW.... WHOOOPS!!!

2004-02-04T21:18:22Z

You are YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON TELEVISION.
Sometimes, you wonder why you couldn't just be
Canadian. Some people say you are weird. You
have an interesting sense of humor and a
meaningless life. But, you're nearly Canadian,
so did you expect better?

Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

RE: Yes, yes it is.

2003-12-15T14:42:38Z

You are a Tortured Conceptual Artist. Your fellow
postmodernists call you an anachronism, but
you've never cared much about the opinions of
others. After all, most of them are far too
simple-minded to appreciate the nuances of your
work. They talk, while you are part of a lived
tradition.

What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla

yippee... (sniffles)

2003-12-02T18:07:29Z

You're Generally Indie. There's nothing wrong with
this. You like music all over the map and
aren't adversed to listening to some Top 40
here and there. You just know to comment that
The Neptunes are the best producers around
right now. You don't feel the need to debate
constantly with other music geeks, because you
know that Pavement were the best band of the
90s.

You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
brought to you by Quizilla

I believe...

2003-11-10T16:31:29Z

You are Morpheus, from "The Matrix." You
have strong faith in yourself and those around
you. A true leader, you are relentless in your
persuit.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm...

2003-10-31T21:17:34Z

What Exploding Dog Art Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Catching The Next Wormhole To Infinity

2003-09-22T18:46:14Z

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER

For those of you who have been keeping up with the data, DESTINATION: EARTH! played two final Debriefing Sessions this month, an all-vocal show at the beloved Melody Inn, and a one-time spacey experimental outing at Radio Radio.

D:E! REVIEWED BY COSMIK DEBRIS E-ZINE!

For the first time since the last, DESTINATION: EARTH! has been reviewed very favorably by DJ Johnson of the nearly legendary COSMIK DEBRIS E-ZINE (also known as the guy who last said that D:E! would "wipe the floor with Man Or Astroman"). Humanoid Johnson had this to say...

"More fun, thundering surf/spy/spacerock from the 23rd century, brought to us by a trio of aliens who have come back in time to give us the ultimate sneak preview at a greatest hits album. At least that's what they claim, and as they're aliens and therefore heavily armed with those... BZZZT! laser thingies, I'm not going to be the one to say "nuh UH!"... I find myself pulled into wild space battles by the crazy theremin and the hyper drums, amused by the unexpected mid-song voice samples saying things like "I'll take a can opener to that funny suit of yours and tear you apart," and generally entertained by the entire package of a good band with a clever gimmick and 16 original songs that rock hard amid the reverb. This is album number three for DESTINATION: EARTH!, and each one has been significantly stronger than the previous. That's good news for the rejuvenating instro surf scene."

Many thanks to the folks at COSMIK DEBRIS for their continued support!!!

RELATED EVENTS!

DESTINATION: EARTH! CDs and videos will continue to be available for online ordering at http://destinationearth.htmlplanet.com

This concludes our Debriefing Sessions here on your world, for the time being. When not in the process of taking over the universe, members of the DESTINATION: EARTH! crew can also be found performing auditory experiments in such musical units as the moody yet hook-filled FILM AT ELEVEN (http://filmateleven.i8.com), the gloomy doomy groovy DEVIL TO PAY (http://deviltopay.net), and the spunky, quirky minimalist rocking HIPSTER ZERO (http://hipsterzero.i8.com). All of these quality auditory purveyors deserve your attention and support.

-Commander 007, out!

OH, SWEET GEEKDOM...

2003-04-29T21:05:55Z

I am 32% Geek

You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.

Take the Geek Test at fuali.com

ANOTHER SURVEY (courtesy of the Human Replica)

2003-04-22T16:26:47Z

1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES? If you've ever seen how we Vector Sigmians eat, you'd know that plates are unnececessary.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Several things at once. I read by proximal osmosis. 1984 comes to mind.
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Dell. I'm at my dayjob (just a cover, of course).
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Mousetrap!!
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Cool & Strange Music
6. FAVORITE SMELL? Uh, baking bread... no roses... no gunpowder... so many choices!!
7. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? The Crapatorium
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP? "Damn, I'm late."
9. FAVORITE COLOUR? Teal
10. LEAST FAVORITE COLOUR? Puke green
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? I always screen calls. It helps when you're on the universe's most wanted list. But the machine's set for two rings.
12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? The best thing about kids is makin' em. It's all downhill from there. I want to name my offspring after the Pac-Man ghosts. (I want them to be picked on just as much as I was.)
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? See #12. Just kidding. Epicurean lifestyle.
14. OF ALL THE POSSIBLE CIRCLES OF HELL, WHICH ARE YOU MOST LIKELY TO BE ASSIGNED TO? The crop circle. Or something.
15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? CHO-CO-LATE!!!!! MUST HAVE...
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? Huh, oh yeah.
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? No, but my giant robots surround the bed. Not really, but it sounded cool.
18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Depends on whether I am safely sheltered or out on a mission.
19. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? Ford Tempo, er... Xian Shuttlecraft.
20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE? That Bush guy (dead) Okay, not really. Maybe Einstein?
21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Something girly.
22. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN & YOUR BIRTHDAY? Gemini, June 4th
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Not really, I prefer cauliflour. And I still don't care for the stems much.
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE? Film director, comic book artist, or professional killer.
25. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY HAIR COLOR WHAT WOULD IT BE? Teal
26. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yep.
27. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? About halfway.
28. FAVORITE MOVIE? Something by the Coen Brothers, probably. They rule.
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? No, right and left. Much easier.
30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? My skeletons. No, wait, that's the closet...
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 8 (guess I should have said 7, hmmm)
32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Cricket
33. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? Heights (you can imagine what space travel is like)
34. FAVORITE SONG? So many songs... so little time... something by They Might Be Giants, probably.
35. FAVORITE TV SHOWS? X-files, Simpsons, That 70's Show, Friends, and pretty much any oldschool anime (Cowboy Bebop is a current fave).
36. KETCHUP OR MUSTARD? Ketchup. Most definitely.
37. HAMBURGERS OR HOTDOGS? Hamburgers. Again, most definitely.
38. FAVORITE SOFT DRINK? Cherry coke (don't try cherry rootbeer, it tastes like cough syrup)
39. THE BEST PLACES YOU HAVE EVER BEEN? Hawaii and Boone, North Carolina. Don't ask.
40. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW? This little diagram of a machine representing "the man" and "the woman." The man machine has a single on/off switch. The woman machine has all kinds of crazy dials, switches, gauges, etc. It's funny if you see it.
41. BURGER KING OR MCDONALDS? No shredded cow eyeballs for me, thanks!
42. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE RIGHT NOW THAT YOU COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH? Already in it, baby.
43. WHAT DID YOU DO YESTERDAY? Same thing.
44. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Ice cream, pizza, pasta, steak... anything fattening, I guess.
45. WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 20 YEARS? Conquering other worlds and not still stuck here, hopefully.
46. IF YOU HAD THE CHOICE OF ANY SUPERHERO POWER TO POSSESS, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Invisibility... Although I WAS a superhero in highschool, and my power was to rap really badly. They called me "Whiteboy."
47. WHAT'S THE WEIRDEST DREAM YOU'VE EVER HAD? "I'm walking down an endless hallway. A sullen, pitch black corridor, okay. As hands reach out to grab me from behind, body parts are oozing down on me I find." - That's a lyric from my HIPSTER ZERO song, "Nitemares of Slim." It's about that weirdo guy Slim Goodbody that used to show up on Saturday morning cartoon shows. Scarred me for life.
48. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE CLASSICAL COMPOSER? Mozart, or maybe Chopin.

'Play The Hits Of The Future' Track Listing & More!!!

2003-03-24T21:42:42Z

OPTIMUS PRIME VS. SADDAM HUSSEIN!

What does this have to do with DESTINATION: EARTH!? Beats the heck out of us, but it's rather interesting nonetheless...

http://wkyc.com/news/news_fullstory.asp?id=3828

D:E! TO PERFORM IN CHICAGO SURF MUSIC EVENT!

For the first time in recent human history, the DESTINATION: EARTH! crew will invade the Chicago sector for an all-surf/instro multi-band event! PHYLLIS MUSICAL INN will host this outstanding and long-awaited event, including reverb-drenched sets by THE COCKTAIL PREACHERS and KNUCKEL DRAGER. An amazing turn of events indeed!

D:E! RETURN FOR SLEW ALL-AGES DEBRIEFINGS!

The Agents of S.H.A.D.O.W. have always taken an interest in all-ages establishments, having performed nearly all of their early Debriefings at such locations. And things haven't changed much. D:E! will perform at Indiana Skate Company on SATURDAY, APRIL 5th with our humanoid friends HIPSTER ZERO, YARZ REVENGE and DOWN ON HALEY. D:E! will share another all-ages bill with HIPSTER ZERO and YARZ REVENGE at TAZZMA'S ROCK-O-RAMA in Lafayette, Indiana on FRIDAY, APRIL 18th. And finally, D:E! will bust out some totally boss hotrod tunes the following evening on SATURDAY, APRIL 19th for a carshow at the FISHERS YMCA! (The word on the street is that D:E! will also be performing at the 500 FESTIVAL at the beginning of MAY... but that will be covered in a future transmission.)

TRACK LISTING ANNOUNCED FOR NEW RELEASE!

The long-awaited third official full-length of new material is currently being prepared for release. Entitled DESTINATION: EARTH! Play The Hits Of The Future,' the track listing is as follows:

Short Pause While The Tape Clicks
Magnetic Menace
Running Out Of Limits
Space Man
Terror Firma
Tripwire
The Robot Exterminator
Space Cowboy Party Theme
Dangerous Science
Nude On The Moon
Suzy Space Cadet
Warp Core Breach
Ballistic Capabilities
Numeric Specifications, Undefined
Missing Time
Out Of The Shadows, Into The Sunset

DESTINATION: EARTH! will launch 'Play The Hits Of The Future' at a special release show on FRIDAY, MAY 9th in Indianapolis. Additional data is forthcoming.

For more info on upcoming Debriefing Sessions, please visit http://destinationearth.htmlplanet.com

Commander 007, signing off!

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE SURF!

2003-01-08T21:11:54Z

As the DESTINATION: EARTH! crew gears up for another slew of Debriefing Sessions, we simultaneously move toward completion of our official 3rd full length collection of auditory experiments. 16 tracks have been laid down, and we are currently in the process of assembling this data with the assistance of Agent Adkins aboard the U.S.S. Azmyth. A track listing will be forthcoming.

The crew will appear in FULL BATTLE ARMOR for the first time in a year-and-a-half on FRIDAY, JANUARY 31st at the Melody Inn's second 'SURF ROCK NIGHT.' You should go too.

As if all this wasn't enough, I am also bringing a few other projects close to completion, including a new HIPSTER ZERO EP, an experimental/electronic/ambient offering, and an unplugged-style vocal collection. I plan to release this material in the very near future.

-Commander 007

WELCOME TO 2003!!!

2003-01-08T21:11:33Z

Find your inner random object! by Emily

These results may require some reflection...

2002-12-09T15:37:19Z

According to the SelectSmart.com Belief System Selector, my #1 belief match is Mahayana Buddhism. </br> What do you believe?</b></a> Visit SelectSmart.com/RELIGION

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<CENTER><TABLE BORDER=0 BGCOLOR="#000000" COLOR="#FFFFFF" LINK="#ffcc00" CELLSPACING=2 CELLPADDING=2 WIDTH=150><TR><TD><CENTER><A HREF="http://selectsmart.com/RELIGION" target="_blank"><IMG SRC="http://www.SelectSmart.com/imagelinks/buddhist.jpg" WIDTH=59 HEIGHT=59 BORDER=0 ALIGN=bottom></A></TD></TR><TR><TD><CENTER><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#ffcc00">According to the SelectSmart.com Belief System Selector, my #1 belief match is <B>Mahayana Buddhism.</B> </BR> What do you believe?</B></FONT></A><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#FFFFFF"> Visit <A HREF="http://www.SelectSmart.com/RELIGION" target="_blank"><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#ffcc00"><I>SelectSmart.com/RELIGION</I></FONT></A></CENTER></TD></TR></TABLE></CENTER><br>
<b<table bgcolor=9695BC border=1 bordercolor=CFCADE width=300 height=150 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=3><tr><td align=center valign=center><font style="font-family:verdana; font-size:10px;color:CFCADE">I went to this site and all I got was this crappy fortune:</font><br><br><table border=0 bgcolor=ffffff width=280 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=3><tr><td align=center valign=center><font style="font-family:comic sans MS, comic sans; font-size:11px;color:FF00C6">Help, I'm imprisoned in a fortune cookie factory!</font></td></tr></table><br><a href="http://www.bigcatpants.com/fortunecookie" style="font-family:verdana; font-size:10px;color:CFCADE">Get your fortune here!</a></td></tr></table>r>

Hmmm... I must reflect on this...

2002-11-14T15:37:52Z

What Was Your PastLife?

Demons Dance Alone, but the Residents Rock...

2002-11-08T18:32:38Z

Professor Z and I embarked to the Chicago sector this past Tuesday for our much-ballyhood attendance of the Residents performance there. Knowing full well that the eyeball-wearing ones are about as likely to play somewhere closer to Indianapolis as they are to autograph mug shots of themselves, I knew that this was the time to see them. Well, the trip was turbulent at times and the House of Blues proved to be a very well hidden establishment for our tracking devices, but we finally made it (thanks to a one-hour lapse in the time tables between the two locations, I should point out).

Unlike the Residents' early performance footage in which there is very little interaction with an audience, the Demons Dance Alone show allowed us to get up close and personal (well, as personal as they're likely to get anyway, since each member has remained anonymous for the last thirty years). But in contrast to what one might expect, the setting was relatively intimate, and the band very impressive. The four-member backing band consisted of a keyboard/bass player, female vocals/keyboardist, guitarist, and percussionist. I had a difficult time telling whether they were all actually playing everything live or just miming along to a backing track, but by the conclusion of the show I was convinced that it was all being performed live. Each of the four members of the backing band was dressed in some type of camo attire, and one member had a light-up single eye peering through his headpiece. Of these four, my hunch is that the female vocalist, percussionist and bass/keyboard player are original members (former guest guitarist Snakefinger died in the early nineties, so this Resident was obviously a replacement). Though faceless, each member was distinguished by their unique playing style, as well as their walk (very funny). The female vocalist hobbled along like a 90-year-old woman while the percussionist swung back and forth like Animal on the Muppet Show.

Center stage was occupied by the original lead vocalist, decked out in a typically theatric getup with a long skinny nose piece, a female vocalist in similar attire and mask that has been performing with the Residents for a number of years, and the devilish character mascot featured in the latest album's graphics (and serving as comic relief on many an occasion). All three of them gave wonderful performances, and despite my pre-show fear of becoming bored by halfway through the set, I wasn't for a minute. The main frontman's story about meeting James Brown in the sixties, as well as his amusing alteration of the lyrics to the opening theme from the Demons Dance Alone album, about wanting to have a hit on MTV (they played this track three times during the course of the set) were highlights. The crowd was generally much more mature than I expected, considering the type of material involved, but it makes sense as the band has been around for thirty years at this point. Like sharks smelling blood in the water, however, I became a target for those few members of the audience that weren't so well behaved. I spent at least half the show being bombarded by the purse of the drunk lady standing next to me (until she spilled a drink on the lady in front of her and was asked to go elsewhere). An obviously tripped-out fellow just one row ahead began to exit mid-performance and proceeded to fall over completely. I was slightly concerned, though primarily amused.

All in all, a very fun show and worth the trip to see it. Being the commander of a very time-consuming mission, however, I was also pleased with the expedient nature of the show. No opening band. The Residents came on, played for nearly two hours, and that was it. It was much more like a small-time theatre production than a rock concert, but this also gave it a lot of its charm.

... Now that I've seen them up close and personal (and still have no idea who they really are), I can get back to the mission at hand.

When we do finally take over this miserable piece of dirt, I will demand that the Residents reveal themselves. And if they do, I just might let them live to continue with their superb auditory experiments.

Yes...

2002-11-01T14:48:26Z

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